University of Ozello
•SEPTEMBER 3 @ Plant City Podiatrist College “The Nails”
Ouch… We scheduled the Nails because we pictured them as a studious team and possibly on the small side. We also anticipated hoisting a few celebration and telling podiatrist “foot” jokes after the game. As it turns out, we were a little overmatched. The only foot joke we have is “how do we remove their foot from our ass!”
FINAL SCORE PCPC 42 OU 14
•SEPTEMBER 10 @ Horseshoe Beach Community College “The Luckys”
Well we finally ran into a team more challenged that our own “sleepin’ dogs”. Due to several team and academic violations our sleepin’ dogs only suited up 8 players. We were a bit embarrassed until the Horseshoe Luckys Team showed up with only 6 players. We loaned them a player and had a fierce game on 7 on 7 for about one quarter. After about a quarter, the players got tired of playing both ways and just didn’t care. The crowd of over 50 fans was stunned when the announcement was made that since we really didn’t have enough players (and it was damn hot) we were calling it a draw. A few players were sent to town to grab a keg and we built a bonfire on the field (in hindsight, not a good idea). The fans and players all had a splendid time. As the keg dwindled, there was even talk of merging the two teams and calling themselves the Lucky Dogs. Yeah, right. That was the alcohol talking’. Go Sleepin’ Dogs!
FINAL SCORE UO 0 HBCC 0
•SEPTEMBER 17 @ Chassahowitzka College “The H2O’s”
Well we made several “Nasty drinking water” jokes before the game. However, the bad water in Chassahowitzka must have turned these guys into some sort of mutants. The bright spot was UO’s first field goal in nearly six years. Seems the coach is getting away from his “go for it on 4th down, no matter what attitude”.
FINAL SCORE CC 21 UO 3
•SEPTEMBER 24 @ Samford “Not Stanford” Jewelers College “The Gems”
Big city guys with big money. The game was tough but it was a lot harder keeping the UO cheerleaders off the “Jewelers” team bus after the game. It seems they liked the idea of hooking up with a jeweler. Sluts! Anyway, the game was tight but the jeweler had better clock management in the end and prevailed.
FINAL SCORE SJC 10 UO 7
•OCTOBER 1 @ Bronson Beauty College For Men (BBCM) “The Pixies”
The game was postponed but to excessive fighting. Several Sleepin Dog players were injured during the violence. However, the Pixies suffered no injuries. Huh!
FINAL SCORE BBCM 0 UO 0
Season Recap: With a 0-4-2 record the Dogs were pretty happy. Several of our coaches were wondering if we were bowl eligible. Hey we only suffered four defeats!